Back To Where It All Began

There’s something to be said for having a do-over. Almost twelve years ago, I gave birth to my firstborn in the same birthing suites where I will be returning to in the next three months. Today’s appointments in that area of the hospital made me realise that I still have some healing to do. E-man’s birth was nothing short of traumatic. Up until today, I felt like I couldn’t return to a similar scenario and be able to cope. As the midwife read through the birth notes, I learnt that E-man’s life was in danger and that is why everything happened so fast in the end, not favouring my comfort but solely focussing on restoring that baby heartrate to normal. Today I have a strong and thriving tween who will never know the extent of what I went through. I felt proud knowing that my pain meant he had no lasting damage. I knew, for the first time today, that the obstetrician had the ultimate good in mind, even though at the time, it felt like he didn’t look after me as much as I had hoped. Today I navigated the maze of corridors alone, feeling empowered and that I could get through the pain that is to come. I saw a cute image of my baby in 3D and treasured all those precious fetal movements so much more than before. In a few short weeks I will have my do-over. I’m not going to let my last labour be an unpleasant one. I will focus on the gift of life which is soon to be in my arms, thankful that he is strong, perfectly formed and ready to meet the world.